Children's tantrums: When do they start, when do they end, and what are the first signs? Violeta Mihalașcu: "I would like us to shift the perspective a little!"

According to the expert, these moments are essential for children's emotional development and should be viewed from a different perspective.

"I would like us to shift the perspective on tantrums and understand them as an essential and critical moment in a child's emotional development. I believe that if parents could do this, they would be better able to calm themselves and stay on the same side as their children", said Violeta Mihalașcu on Părinți Prezenți, a show produced by ParintisiPitici.ro.

The psychologist emphasized that tantrums are children's natural reactions to situations where their emotional resources are overwhelmed by a stressful event.

"A tantrum is a moment in anyone's life when their emotional resources are overwhelmed by the stressful event they face. This means that a tantrum if we want to use a shorter term, can occur in very young children, school-aged children, and even adults", the specialist explained.

Violeta Mihalașcu also pointed out that adults are not immune to tantrums. The difference is that as people mature, these episodes become less frequent, which is "perfectly normal, natural, and physiological."

At what age do tantrums end?

The age at which children's tantrums end is a topic frequently discussed by parents, but clinical psychologist and behavioral analyst Violeta Mihalașcu offers a more nuanced perspective. The expert emphasizes that tantrums do not simply disappear with age but rather diminish as emotional skills are practiced and developed.

"No, they don't end with age. They end with the practice and development of emotional skills, specifically emotional regulation", explained Violeta Mihalașcu.

The specialist detailed that emotional regulation is the ability to manage strong and negative emotions, to feel them, to accept them, and eventually to return to an inner balance.

"That is, the ability of people to feel all kinds of emotions, primarily the negative, strong ones that shake us up, to feel them, make room for them, and then be able to return to a baseline level of feeling, from which we can access our rational brain, make rational decisions, and not be entirely consumed by emotion, passion, or a tantrum", Violeta Mihalașcu explained.

PHOTO: freepik.com @EyeEm

Violeta Mihalașcu on when children's tantrums begin

Tantrums are an inevitable reality in every child's life, but many parents wonder: when do these outbursts start? Violeta Mihalașcu explains that there is no specific age at which tantrums appear, but they become more noticeable around the age of one, as the child's motor skills and desires develop.

"There isn't a specific age. However, once the baby begins to develop more advanced skills, around the age of one, parents are most likely to notice", said Mihalașcu.

"Because before the age of one, all those moments when the child's resources are overwhelmed by the situations they face—essentially defining tantrums—are more often attributed and explained through physiological needs, which parents instinctively manage. They immediately identify them, have clear solutions, put them into practice, and the crisis is resolved", the expert added.

Psychologist Mihalașcu: "A baby does not remain forever a being with only physiological needs"

However, as the baby develops motor skills and begins to explore the world around them, the first tantrums start to appear.

"A baby does not remain forever a being with only physiological needs. And around the age of one, when their motor skills are developing and their world expands with things they desire, small tantrums begin to emerge", explains the specialist.

Violeta Mihalașcu emphasizes that the child's temperament plays a significant role in the intensity and frequency of these outbursts.

"It also depends a lot on the child's temperament, as we are each born with varying levels of emotional reactivity. Yes, some children around the age of one may start to have stronger emotional outbursts that they didn't have before.

Obviously, at one year old, tantrums don’t look like those at two three, or four years old, when the child is physically stronger, more verbal, and the tantrums are more dramatic. But yes, they can start at a very young age", added Violeta Mihalașcu.

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