Psychologist Radu Leca made a profound statement about the impact that parents' unrealistic expectations can have on children. He emphasized that when parents desire impossible things from their children, they suffer both emotionally and mentally.
Children can feel overwhelmed by the pressure to meet impossible standards imposed by parents and may begin to wonder why their parents are so fixated on unrealistic goals, such as elite performance in various fields. In a society where standards are often distorted and success seems to be measured by exceptional achievements, the idea of developing an education based on realistic and non-harmful goals may seem like an illusion. Psychologist Leca highlights that no matter how much we strive to create a healthy educational environment for our children, there are external and internal pressures that can distort these efforts.
"Children who have parents who want impossible things from them, these children have a pair of deeply unhealthy parents.
They are emotionally and mentally sick, and poor things try to find a form of causality for their parents' behavior, like 'Why does dad want me to be a champion so badly?' or 'Why does mom say she's only happy if I win a medal?' or 'why are my parents so obsessed with me being an Olympian?'
In a world of fantasy and lies where everyone can buy everyone, the notion of an academic society is an illusion. It's useless for us to try to materialize an algorithm of non-pernicious goals in the academic education of our children because it will never be achieved from any perspective", pointed out Radu Leca on "Present Parents", a show moderated by the editor-in-chief of ParintisiPitici.ro, Loredana Iriciuc.
PHOTO: freepik.com @Juan J. J. Labrador
Psychologist Radu Leca made a strong statement about the influence society has on children, highlighting an algorithm that seems to promote negative aspects such as intellectual theft, lying, corruption, and bullying, resulting in the emotional and mental illness of children.
"The algorithm that Romanian society currently imposes on its newest members is related to intellectual theft, lying, illusion, corruption, harassment, bullying, sexual expression from the age of 9, and many other permissions of blatant idiocy that find the most important loopholes in education and use them to make the remaining children more normal inside sick.
If we look, for example, at a class, a class that consists of 35 children, 7 are obese, 8 or 9 have tried smoking or vaping, most of them watch pornography, valid for grades VII-VIII, and many of them have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
The Western European trend, more or less imposed, of the notion of sexual freedom pervades, through online games and commercials broadcast while playing on the mobile phone, the minds of the young.
And anytime a child who has been forced to become a champion by their parents, in any direction, can come home and say 'Mom, Dad, I realized why I'm unhappy, why I don't feel good in my body: I'm a girl', 'you were born a boy!', 'No, no, no, I'm a girl'", added psychologist Leca.
PHOTO: freepik.com @EyeEm
In a typical dialogue, parents may impose certain aspirations on their child, such as: "My child must become a doctor." However, when the child expresses reluctance, saying they can't tolerate blood, parents may respond with "It's okay, you'll learn." This ongoing pressure can lead to mediocre results in school years and failure in important exams. Ultimately, the child may feel dissatisfied and disillusioned, expressing that they never wanted to pursue this career.
"The trends that lead people into a zone of absolute comfort, these trends contain this algorithm with a parenting hack. 'My child wants to be a doctor,' 'but I can't stand blood,' 'it's okay, you'll learn,' 'but I can't stand someone yelling at me,' 'it's okay, you'll learn,' 'yes, yes, sure, no problem.'
The child reaches years 2, 3, and 4, has mediocre results, is unable to pass the residency exam, becomes something, and at some point says 'I never could be that.' But what did you want to be? 'I wanted to be a painter.' 'Paint something.' 'I didn't learn.' 'Well, there you go. You're good at being a doctor! Come to the clinic and be a doctor.'
The trend tells us the following: teach your child to have a role model. Okay, but what role model are you for your child? 'Where's mom?' 'Mom's at the gym?' 'Good, good, good, well done! Where's dad?' 'Dad's with his friends?' 'Okay, what time is Dad coming? What time did mom come?' 'On time?' 'Who's the role model?' 'Mom!'
When there's such a structure of corruption within the family, you can't expect a child accustomed to coping with the dynamics of learning, learning schemes, the learning algorithm, and the meticulousness with which they have to parrot elements that have no notion of reality", added Radu Leca.
PHOTO: freepik.com @rawpixel.com
Psychologist Radu Leca has brought attention to his experience of observing preparation for the Romanian Language Baccalaureate exam and concluded that, unfortunately, the level of this exam no longer represents a test of maturity but of mediocrity.
In light of these findings, he expresses the desire for parents to set realistic expectations for their children, with three simple objectives.
"I had the opportunity to see preparation for the Romanian Language Baccalaureate. I saw how our future students prepare for their life exam, nine months ago. And when I saw and understood the preparation process, I said this: there is no longer, realistically, a baccalaureate of maturity, but of mediocrity.
And so I say: I wish some parents could see their children's limits, but alongside these limits, have three desires:
I want my son/daughter to know how to read and write in Romanian.I want my son/daughter to understand what they have written in Romanian and what they have read.I want my son/daughter to finish the baccalaureate with at least a 7.
If we have these three desires, then we can briefly consider a simple notion of a champion.
Do you want to be a champion? Do you want your child to be a champion? Yes! It starts with you. Just become a champion yourself, but not a champion at consuming chips and beer and sugary ice cream; be a champion at beautiful things too. For example, put a book on the table, read from it, not the dictionary or the primer, and be smarter. In the evening, what do we do? A play at the theater! Open YouTube and choose from the thousands of TV theater plays filmed with great actors, one that means something to your child. Don't want something special? You can choose to laugh! Don't want to sit in front of the TV? Go to the theater, no problem", Radu Leca further emphasized.
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